Hanah in her Head aka Hanah Montana and the Apalling Misuse of Bone Conduction Technology

Joy has a new toothbrush. When we bought it we knew it was a musical toothbrush that played one of Hanah-I-still-don't-see-what-the-fuss-is-about-Montana's tunes. But it played that song for two minutes and Joy was willing to brush for the duration. When we took it out of the box we couldn't understand why we didn't hear music at first til we read the fine print: "Enhanced Vibration Technology." 

Say wha? 

EVT is good ol' fashioned bone conduction harnessed for the nefarious purpose of bypassing the eardrums and injecting destructive Disney vibes directly into the brain [ok that's a bit of an exaggeration...but not really]. This is same technology that enables millions of the hearing impaired to enjoy the sheer artistry of Beethoven who himself used a primitive form to compose in his later years. 

The freaky thing is we can hear the music coming out of her head! Check out the video here. Well you know I had to check this out. Sorry...no video of that disturbing moment when I heard...no...I felt Hanah Montana singing in my head. Can't we put this technology to some better use? I dunno, a toothbrush that vibrates positive affirmations? Can you imagine brushing your teeth and hearing 'I am prosperous' in your head? And you're not saying it? That would be cool. Hmmm...anyone know the number to the patent office?