Love...

[Spoiler alert: this is gonna be a sappy post.]

Over the last four days I encountered the kind of love that simply tore my heart a new one. They had nothing to do with Christmas [thankfully...I'm already burning out] yet couldn't have turned up in my life at a better time.


The first came on the form of a novel: The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. I downloaded the audiobook [plug:emusic.com] for the road-trip here and was not disappointed by this Pulitzer prize winner. If you read only one book next year, let this be the one. The author Junot Diaz weaves a story of three generations, which takes a while so hang in there-I think it's so worth it. The depth of pure love and heartbreak he ascribes to the main characters was almost too much to handle while driving. And as the title suggests, it wasn't about happy endings. Love often isn't about happy endings.




Last night I had the honor of being invited to the 50th anniversary and re-commitment celebration of Al & Edith Henderson. They are an elder couple here at the church in Raleigh and they , Al especially, have taken a liking to Jennifer. Al was just the dapper romantic: reading poetry to his new-again bride, pulling out her chair, soft guiding touches. I had thought it strange the Edith seemed a little underwhelmed by the event until Jen told me that a few years ago she had a massive stroke and was in a coma. The doctors had been pessimistic. Her very existence was somewhat of a miracle. Al took care of her through it all. I'm about to hit the 10 year mark and it's wigging me out a little [ok...a lot, don't ask me why...working on it]. I can't begin to wrap my mind around what it would take to make a relationship last that long. That level of commitment and compromise seems beyond me right now [to be clear, I can see myself with Jen forever, I'm just not able to quantify what I'll need to do to get there]. They left us with some clues. My favorite: "Yesterday ended at midnight."


And if that wasn't enough, we left the party to go see Seven Pounds. We were forewarned [so heed the warning] that this was a heavy movie. Critics said it was too heavy for the holidays, but I disagree. Granted, I had to engage in a round of deep breathing to control my heart which felt like it jump out of my chest and go save the world. This was a story about love, loss, redemption, and giving on a level reserved for those who are emotionally imbalanced to unspeakable degrees. Perfect for the season! And on a side note, Rosario Dawson, even in that sickly pallor, never looked hotter. Wow is all I gotta say [to the movie...and to Rosario too].

I acknowledge that two of the three examples were fictional. Yet the fact that such levels of love can exist at the very least in someone's mind gives me the hope and inspiration that they can exist in reality. And they do. People make unfathomable sacrifices for others every minute in every corner of the world. The economy may be causing some of us to lament about the smaller piles under the tree this year. But the best gifts are usually not the material ones. Just give of your heart.

Play it again Sam

We decided to give our piano to family friends who've always wanted one. They've got a six-year-old who is the 2nd [duh!] most amazingly adorable little girl I've ever met and they have visions of piano lessons and Christmas sing-alongs. I didn't have the heart to tell them that it's a pipe dream...it's good to have something to grasp onto no matter how fleeting.

My friend showed up with movers and the piano is gone...and I'm sad.

We made some good memories with that cheap never-stayed-in-tune studio upright. I wrote some great music on that thing. We did have our share of sing-alongs with family and friends. It's gotten me laid quite a lot 'cause the wife loves it when I play & sing to her, especially original stuff. I've used it for venting, processing, sorting out my thoughts, catharting, meditating. There'd be times when I was in some kind of mental or emotional vortex and couldn't see a way out. I'd sit, play the first chords that came to me, next thing I know an hour's disappeared and all's right with the world again.

So why are we, two music-therapists-turned-ministers and still occasional song-writers getting rid of it? Simple. We're tired of hauling that thing around the country. Pianos are friggin' heavy! Ten years, four houses, two states, and one child later, we're just tired of hauling it around. It was gifted to us by our former [and pretty much still present] minister who hauled it to Virginia from the mid-west. We hauled it back here to Missouri and figured it didn't need an east coast sequel.

Yes, I used the word 'haul' in some form repeatedly because it is a haul; there ain't nothing easy about moving a piano. Unles you're professional movers who strap it on a dolly which they strap to themselves and lift it down icy steps in under 5 minutes. I don't feel they suffered enough to have hauled off a bunch of my favorite memories.

I guess I still got the memories.

I just don't have a piano.

Gains and Losses aka Life101 - Part.1

The dream is realized, and as Obama reminded us in his inspiring acceptance speech, life goes on and the road ahead is steep.
I was sadly reminded of that by a jolting phone call that brought me back from my post-election-celebration high.
One of our closest family friends called to tell us her father had passed away after a long battle with lung cancer that developed from exposure to asbestos.
Dementia had begun to also take its toll and our friend was his full-time care-giver.
So although no surprise it was no less painful.

I'm writing this from the Lyceum at Unity Village.
Bishop John Shelby Spong reminded of the beautiful gift and responsibility and sometimes burden of being arguably the only conscious species on the planet.
As a result of this gift we spend our lives questioning.
We question our very existence; the meaning of it and our purpose.
We also question the end of it, and the after of it.

But in the moment of loss we can simply be with it.
In our culture we tend to rush our grief.
But true process can never be hastened.
We cannot rush wholeness.
Feeling loss and sadness and deep profound grief are important steps to wholeness.

So in the midst of this historic global moment I'm taking the time to feel my sadness for my friend and her loss.
How much time? As much as she needs.




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