Sunday, February 22, 2009

Things in My Pocket [Plinky Trvialities]

My Blackberry Storm
It's my lifeline: calendar, phone, photos, twitter, facebook, blogs, news, music...anything I can do from my laptop I can do on my Storm. If it dosen't go into my calendar instantly it ain't happening.

My Wallet
Cash, credit cards, id, business cards, a couple family pics. I keep it as light as possible so I'm not displacing my hip like other guys who're sitting crooked.

My Zune
80 Gigs. It's where I keep my tunes...all 12,000 plus of them. And some podcasts & videos [down with ipod!]. Headphones too.

My Keys
So I can get in & out of stuff...like my car and my house.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Spinning for chicks.

I'm officially one of the people I used to make fun of.

I spin.

I spin for chicks.

No...not girls.

My chicks.

My bony skinny scrawny chicken legs.

I won't torture either of us with pictures so let's all breathe a collective sigh of relief.

I don't shame easily, but I keep 'em covered as much as possible because I'm tired of deflecting the questions about the physics of how it's possible for me to stand upright.

I was first made aware of spinning a few years back my friend Jack Q who said "I joined the spin class to lose weight but all I got were these ham-hocks instead" as he pointed to bulbous calves and redwood-thick thighs. He was already a pretty big guy and now his legs matched the rest of him. Even though I'm not a pretty big guy, there isn't a whole lot of my five-foot-eight-one-hundred-and-sixty-pound frame [ok...one-seventy...ok OK one-eighty now leave me alone!] proportioned to my legs. 

So since there's a plethora of spin classes at the YMCA we recently joined and I have a neighbor/friend who's quite zealous about spinning [especially before the sun wakes up...wha?!] I thought I'd put Jack Q's theory to the test. The first few classes were excruciating. I kept saying I would never go back. I told the people in class they were insane. They smiled patiently and kept pedalling to nowhere. They knew I would be back.

And I was. This week [I think my third...or fourth...can't remember because side-effects of blood rushing to the legs is decreased brain functionality] was a milestone. I finished a class without cheating. I cranked the dial when I was told to. I pedalled fast when I was told to. I stopped when I was told to and not a second earlier. I had gotten over the hump. I was in the zone. I even went without my zealous friend so I felt I deserved double points. No...triple points because it was the class with the nazi instructor who cranked up my dial because he thought I should be working harder: "Don't slow down!" he screamed. "Then don't touch my bike!!" I screamed back. It was a good class.

So here's hoping the chickens are getting fed and fat...well at least growing. If they plump up I'll be sure to post some pics because, yes, I'm egomanical enough to believe that after this post you all want to see some leg.


Monday, February 16, 2009

Double-Digit Fan Base...w00t!

I feel like a bit of a dumb-ass. It only just occurred to me that I have subscribers I don't know about. How did I stumble into this revelation of genius proportions? I do my own share of following myself, as you can see in the side bar...keep scrolling, you'll find it [thinking it's time for a 3-column site...I digress]. Anyways, I use google reader so I only visit the actual sites to make comments. Well I realized that I wasn't showing up as a follower on quite a few sites. It then hit me that I was only showing up on the sites I chose to follow through Blogger. So many people didn't know about the hours I devoted to hanging on their every word. But the well-oiled gears in my head kept turning...is this happening to me as well? How could I find out? While I was ruminating on that thorny issue I headed over to twitterfeed to register this blog so every time I post it'll automatically be sent out as a tweet as well . I had to enter my feed url [aaaand I just lost a bunch of you who are soooo not interested in the technical side of things....sorry....but hang in there, there's a point coming] so went to feedburner which manages the feeds.

And that's when I discovered to great shock and amazement that I have fourteen [that's 14...one-four] subscribers. Who knew?! This may not be considered a legion of dedicated minions [and I'm one of the followers so it's really 13 but I had to make sure it worked didn't I?] but still... DOUBLE-DIGITS BABY!!

So what's the big deal about double-digits anyways? I'm sure it's just the result of psychological conditioning, or the indoctrination of the decimal system, but there's some sense of achievement when we do anything for ten years or more. Jen & I just celebrated ten years of marriage, so I'm speaking from experience. I'm sure when Jesus got to disciple #10 he was like, "Ok, now we're rolling. Ummm...I guess two more won't hurt. Let's go peeps."

As a society we celebrate decades of dedication. When was the last time you went to a 27-year party for anything? But that ten year mark also causes us to pause. Like milestone birthdays [of course since I'm slow on the uptake it didn't hit me that I was 30 til I was 32]. I'm sure I'll have issues when I hit 40. And for those of us who fear success more than failure [yes, it can happen] it scares us that we've been doing something right long enough to get us this far.

So to my 14...I mean 13 subscribers...no 14, I can thank myself if I want to... again, to my 14 subscribers, thank you for reading. This might be a good time for a disclaimer: don't hold me to anything I write here. Five years from now I'll look back at this and think "what the hell was I thinking." Five years? Shoot...I might be doing that next week!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

It's NOT 25 things about me

The '25 Things About Me' meme is making fast rounds on Facebook. I got tagged a few times but being a less-is-more guy I think 25 is waaaaay to many. Five questions, however, I can handle. So thanks to Wonder-Rachel for the short yet provocative interview. And if like me you like to keep things simple, read the instructions after I bare my soul.

1. Name one book you think everyone should read.
It was tough to narrow it down to one book, but I believe this world would be a profoundly different place if everyone read and lived THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz. Imagine if everyone (i) was impeccable with their word, (ii) didn't take anything personally, (iii) didn't make assumptions, and (iv) always did their best. Relationships just got a whole lot easier. Not just personal ones, but possibly global ones, which when you think about it, are just personal ones anyway.

2. What is the hardest thing you've ever done?
I was on a camping trip in the Wind River Range, WY. The first day we started around 9,000 ft and climbed to 10,000 with 40 pound backpacks. I never fully recovered from that and developed HAPE (High Altitude Pulmonary Edema) a couple days later. It's usually reserved for Mt. Everest-type elevations, but considering Kansas City was the highest elevation I'd ever lived, not such a big surprise. I had to be evacuated and hospitalized. I lived to tell the tale, and I'll be telling it from as close to sea level as possible from now on.

3. Tell about your last crisis of faith and what helped you turn the corner.
My last crisis of faith happens to be my current crisis of faith and there are no corners in sight. One of the unintended yet unavoidable and necessary rites of passage in this ministerial program is essentially unpacking every belief and deciding if to keep lugging it around. One of those happened to be my personal theology. What do really believe about God? Do I even believe in God? My earlier post about being a reverend agnostic should give some indication about my inner process. I do know that the individual's relationship with their own divinity is what ultimately determines their life outcome, so the question is do I need to figure mine out before I can help others with theirs? Clock's ticking.

4. Name your biggest vice.
Hmmm....I don't know I'm ready to share the biggest one yet, so I'll give you two that fall lower in the rankings as a peace offering. First, I admittedly spend way too much time online. Between blogging and reading blogs, facebook, twitter, and I'll count my Blackberry, I'm hooked on all things web2.0. Secondly, I spend too much on music. Ever since I decided to act honorably and stop illegal downloading, my wallet has suffered. I may have come up with a solution: $15/mo Zune Pass. It's a subscription service that let's me download all the music I want, but I can only listen on my Zune; I can't burn or share it. It's a deplorable trade-off but it's what I choose to afford right now.

5. Tell us about the best date you've been on.
Because my wife occasionally reads this, the RIGHT answer needs to be a date I was on with her. Kidding. But it actually was. What I will never forget was that we went back to her place to watch basketball and she fell asleep in my arms. I think it was only our 2nd date and we hadn't even kissed yet. She was mortified, but how safe must she have felt? I remember just watching her sleep, lips slightly parted, and thinking how angelic she looked. I was fairly hooked at that point.

Whew! This was quite cathartic. Anyone else want a turn?

Here are the meme details:
If you'd like to play along, just follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. Be
sure you link back to the original post.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone
else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them
five questions.
Easy Peezy!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Hanah in her Head aka Hanah Montana and the Apalling Misuse of Bone Conduction Technology

Joy has a new toothbrush. When we bought it we knew it was a musical toothbrush that played one of Hanah-I-still-don't-see-what-the-fuss-is-about-Montana's tunes. But it played that song for two minutes and Joy was willing to brush for the duration. When we took it out of the box we couldn't understand why we didn't hear music at first til we read the fine print: "Enhanced Vibration Technology." 

Say wha

EVT is good ol' fashioned bone conduction harnessed for the nefarious purpose of bypassing the eardrums and injecting destructive Disney vibes directly into the brain [ok that's a bit of an exaggeration...but not really]. This is same technology that enables millions of the hearing impaired to enjoy the sheer artistry of Beethoven who himself used a primitive form to compose in his later years. 

The freaky thing is we can hear the music coming out of her head! Check out the video here. Well you know I had to check this out. Sorry...no video of that disturbing moment when I heard...no...I felt Hanah Montana singing in my head. Can't we put this technology to some better use? I dunno, a toothbrush that vibrates positive affirmations? Can you imagine brushing your teeth and hearing 'I am prosperous' in your head? And you're not saying it? That would be cool. Hmmm...anyone know the number to the patent office?

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


Today I indulged one of my lesser known passions. Even though I only have two tattoos and know little about the tattoo world I have an inexplicable affiliation for the art. But I'm pacing myself and not acting impulsively because once the ink dries there's no going back. So under the steady hand of Lacie at Phoenix Tattoo Studios I got my ohm tattoo enhanced with a lotus flower background.

This wasn't painful. I have a zero point threshold for pain. I'd say it was uncomfortable. In fact the only pain came about from sitting with my arm twisted behind my back so Lacie could reach parts of the shoulder. When it started to fall asleep and hurt she was like, "Oh yeah, [oops] you can move your arm." Hmmm...like how long before that was she done? Good thing I wasn't holding my breath. But seriously she was great and I highly recommend her [if you're reading this in Raleigh and want to get a tattoo and don't have a fear of motorized needles]. The other tattoo I have is overlapping hearts with my wedding date. It's near my ankle and that one hurt like no tomorrow since there's not a lot of flesh or muscle there.

So why do I subject myself to this? Probably for the same reason I blog: I really don't know. I can't articulate why I feel driven to express myself in these and other ways. Nor do I feel I need to be able to articulate it. If it feeds my soul, that's a good enough reason. I heard it said best by famous tightrope walker Philippe Petit on The Colbert Report a few nights ago, and with that I take my leave...

Monday, February 2, 2009

If you pay me enough, I'll sing these songs at a karaoke bar

Citizen of the Planet by Alanis Morissette

It's my personal anthem. I love Alanis. We were born on the same day. I love Alanis. It's a killer song. Did I mention I love alanis?

You Are The Universe by The Brand New Heavies

Another personal anthem song and one of the few i know all the words.

I'm too sexy by Right Said Fred

'cause it's true.