Sometimes things happen that, for all your logic and intellect, momentarily paralyze you with disbelief. Last month Jen and I attended the Unity convention in Kansas City, KS where the following [paraphrased] conversation took place between her [JEN], an innocent bystander [IB], and an unenlightened booth attendant [UBA]:
JEN: Did my husband just come by and make a purchase?
UBA: No ma'am. I don't think your husband was here.
JEN: Are you sure? He said he was going to come by make a purchase?
UBA: I'm fairly sure he wasn't here.
IB: There was a gentleman here five minutes ago.
UBA: That wasn't your husband...It was a black guy.
When Jen recounted this, my brain literally stopped working due to the shock. Then I went straight to disbelief and even hinted that she must have misheard because it was absolutely impossible that in the twenty-first century someone assumed that a blond-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian couldn't be married to a black man. Even more bizarre was the fact that this took place at a Unity convention. Unity...the poster movement for acceptance...probably the most gay-friendly religious movement...where you could have green skin and antennas growing out of your head and we'd still love you!
The only way I can rationally comprehend the entire incident is to believe that for a brief fatigue-induced moment, this man's embedded world view got the better of him. He was a white man in his sixties, most likely the product of wholesome mid-west upbringing that told him people who look different don't get married. And, most likely because of Unity's teachings and life experience, he intellectually turned his back on his childhood prejudices to become an equal-opportunity lover of humanity. But in that moment, as in many moments of our lives, he switched to default and spoke without thinking.
After getting over my shock came the realization that defaulting to our embedded views, whether religious or social or ethical, is more the norm than the exception. For me this means that any real and lasting change can only come through our children, and for that to happen we need conscious parents. Jen & I consider ourselves students of this conscious parenting practice, and Joy calls us into it every day.
Some of you know Jen has been co-hosting a Spiritual Parenting web-radio show on Unity.fm for almost the past two years This fall I'll be joining her as the new co-host...HUZZAH!!...let the hilarity ensue! I'll be the edgier who-gave-him-a-mic/good-lord-what's-he-gonna-say-next bad cop to Jen's I'm-trying-to-do-a-show-here!/just-hide-me-now good cop. HA! All kidding aside, I'm really looking forward to it. For our many struggles, we do parenting pretty damn well...just look at Joy [knock, knock]. So tune in [I'll post exact link later] and in the meantime check out UNITY FAMILY MATTERS, a site dedicated to conscious spiritual parenting.
Catch ya soon on the air waves!...or would that be the web waves?....hmm.....
3 comments:
So weird. I guess I'm not surprised, but at the same time, I am.
Where I came from, "races" were definitely separate and unequal. Unfortunately, the programming does not ever seem to go away. However, the light of being friends, knowing "what" we are and loving each other tends to confine those error beliefs to the shadows where they belong.
Hi Ogun, when I first read this I thought, "What's the big deal?" Then I thought, "Wait a minute, what would someone in Trinidad say?" They would probably point and say, "Is that him?"
Thanks for reminding me why the heck I want to get out of here. And also for reminding me to guide my mind. And that the place does not matter, and I'll probably be hear forever.
Also, Unity is not that diverse. It is indiscriminate, but not diverse.
In other words, we welcome everyone and everything because we are working on the belief that we are all God (expressing, incarnate, shards of God, whatever the flavor is). However, it's not in our bones yet because we can't even wrap our minds around the concept that I, individually, am God. Myself included:-)
Because of that what we say and how we act are incongruous.
PS. You two would be awesome on the show. Perfect for the job, and I've met Joy:-) (She is amazing:-)
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