Sunday, December 7, 2008

It's a Crying Shame

So I read two articles about guilt that had me stupified with disbelief. Wait...Stupify is a Harry Potter spell isn't it? Damn! I've been using that word in real life! Thanks a lot J. K. Rowling-stupid-words-into-our-vocabulary. But I digress. I was reading about Tivo Guilt and Luxury Shame.

Tivo Guilt is the phenomenon of feeling bad about all the TV shows you've got piled up on your DVR that you know you won't find the time to watch but can't bring yourself to erase because you have some strange attachment to having them on your DVR. What?! Anybody else old enough to remember when the VCR came out and the fact you could actually watch something other than what was on TV anytime you wanted was the greatest technological miracle EVER!! And now we're feeling guilty because we can horde retarded programming at the lazy touch of a button? C'mon folks....IT'S JUST TV! ENTER-FRIGGIN'-TAINMENT!! NOT REAL LIFE!!!! And don't get me wrong, I'm a big TV fan-boy myself (was bawling my eyes out today at this week's Private Practice...yes, I'm a sensitive guy, love me anyways), and I looooooove my DVR, but if I miss something, it's ok. If I can't find time to watch it, it's ok. My standing rule is this: If it's a series I'm dedicated to (Grey's, Private Practice, Eli Stone, Terminator:SCC, Daily show, Colbert Report, Sunny in Philly) I'll hold an episode for up to 3 weeks. If I haven't watched it by then, it proobably ain't gonna happen. Learn to let go...make room for something better (Chocolate News anyone?).

But Luxury Shame really had me at a loss. Apparently some richer-than-God folks feel bad about spending their money on useless crap-as-usual because us poor folk aren't doing so well. How messed up is that?! I don't want your pity. You feel bad? Buy me some crap-as-usual and we'll all feel better! The irony here is, as I best understand it (which ain't saying much), lack of spending is one of the biggest reasons the economy is in the toilet. And the rich folk are feeling bad and not spending because I can't? Don't they get they're actually making things worse! GIVE YOUR MONEY AWAY IF YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT HAVING IT ALREADY!!!!! I got a mortgage you could take care of, and some credit card bills, and my daughter's only 8 but next thing you know it's college time.

I can guarantee you that I will never feel shame when I have too much money to spend. Why? Because I'mgoing to give away BOATLOADS of it. I believe in the principle of flow; give and receive; universal reciprocity, if you will. I believe Bill Gates continues to be one of richest men in the world because of how much he gives away through his foundation. Yeah, Microsoft can suck it (love my Zune tho!) but his foundation has done worlds of good.

The only thing I'm ashamed about right now is eating waaaay too much sausage for breakfast.