WWJD? Who Knows!

The premise of this talk is that even though they...we...whoever!...throws around WWJD? as the answer to any dilemma, what Jesus would actually do today is anyone's best guess. He was a complicated dude by all accounts. He would be a twitter user...for sure.

WWJD? Who Knows! from Nugo on Vimeo.

When Irish Eyes are LMAO

Happy St. Patty's Day...as only the Muppets can:

And if that's not enough hilarity, click here to find out why being clean is being happy [thanks to Hugh for this one].

Take a Deep Breath [Blog-a-log-a-ding-dong! Day thank-God-it's-over]

Ahhh...the sweet smell of victory. That or the odor of the mango chicken sausage we had for dinner has permeated every fiber in the house. Either way, I stand triumphant! I have done the impossible! Ok...the improbable. Alright...the not likely. How about the not-such-a-big-deal-but-good-for-me-anyways? 

As you recall [and since you probably don't, click here] one week ago tonight I set myself the audaciously spectacular goal of posting every day for one week. And I have. I'm proud of myself and I feel great. And I'm NEVER DOING IT AGAIN!! 

That was way too much pressure and worry. It was like an itch in the middle of my brain that I couldn't scratch all day long because I had to remember to post. It actually took some of the fun out of blogging for me, and I need to hold on to the fun right now. I've got a lot going on now, mostly on the inside...lots of questions that need answering, lots of feelings I wish weren't there, dark moods I'd rather not be in. Blogging has been a breath of fresh air...no...more like pure oxygen. Oxygen is good...except if there's a lit flame...then there's explosions, and no more oxygen. Pushing myself to blog everyday rather than letting it flow naturally was like thumbing the Zippo wheel.

So here's celebrating this small victory. And here's hoping each of you have your own tank of oxygen somewhere. Also thanks to Wonder-Rachel over at My Crazy Life for the Blog-a-log-a-ding-dong title; I was truly drawing a blank for this one.

See ya soon.

Stop The Madness [Bloga...crap...I got nothin'. Day so-close-I-can-taste-it!]

I have a simple three-tiered rating system for movies:

1. It's gonna be so good, I gotta see it on the big screen.

2. It's gonna be just ok, I can wait for the rental [download].

3. It's gonna be so bad, I'll let somebody else rent it and watch it at their house.

Once every blue moon I abandon my fail-safe system and embrace Family Movie Night. Last night, against my better judgement, we saw Race to Witch Mountain. I knew going in it was a remake of the 1975 classic Escape to Witch Mountain, and since that was one of the defining movies of my childhood, I wanted Joy to have a similar experience. I should've just rented [downloaded] the original. Joy left the theater with a lot of questions. When an 8-year-old realizes there's too many things that don't make sense, you didn't do a good job. Wikipedia called it a "re-imagining (i.e. a loose remake)" of the original. Any looser and I'd be calling it names that rhyme with "floor" and "shut."

Here's my only question: Is their any originality left in Hollywood? Or are we doomed to be subjected to having the last glimmers of life squeezed out of classics and remolded into fantorgasmic exhibitions of computer-generated wizardry. Even the posters from the two versions bare this out:

Any hesitation as to which one is the original? And can someone PULEEZE explain to me why "The Rock" is such a movie star? I swear I don't get it. I say leave well-enough alone, if it ain't broke don't fix it, and any other witty way of saying STOP MAKING CRAPPY REMAKES ALREADY!! 

However, by far the biggest travesty came during the previews when I saw this:

In two and a half minutes another piece of my childhood was forever ruined. Don't get me wrong...I got big love for Will Farell. Anchorman will forever hold a place as one of my Top Ten Funniest Movies and his brief appearances in Wedding Crashers and The Producers made those movies worth watching. But did they have to ruin Land of the Lost?! From the preview the only thing tying this obvious travesty to the original campy series is the title and those adorable sleestacks:

The day was not a total lost. Thanks to TBS, your home for defining 80's movies, I was able to share with Joy the last 30 minutes of the irreplaceable goodness that is THE GOONIES.

Please Hollywood, for the love of God and all that is sacrosanct of the 80's, LEAVE THIS ONE ALONE!!!

Sweet Distraction [Blogtacular '09! Day are-we-there-yet?!]

This blogging everyday thing is taking up a lot of time. It's lowered my productivity to 31% from it's usual peak of 37%.  Here's a list of things I should be doing now instead of blogging:

1. Homework

2. Dishes

3. Hanging pictures

4. Vacuuming

5. Laundry

6. Putting away last load of laundry

7. Getting cars inspected

8. Playing wii with Joy

9. Editing video for church website

10. Unpacking boxes

11. Writing the next great American novel

12. Watching legally DVR'd tv shows

13. Watching illegally pirated movies

14. Buying groceries

15. Making diner

16. Feeding my child

UPDATE: I didn't post this when I originally wrote it at 5:00 this afternoon. It's almost 10:30 now, and the list continues...

17. Homework I didn't do since #1

18. Putting Joy to bed [she slept in til 10 this morning so don't think I'm bad parent]

19. Putting myself to bed

20. See #12

21. See #13

22. Thinking of what to blog about tomorrow.

T.G.I.F.F. [Blogilicious! Day...um...4 maybe?]

WOHOO!! Thank God It's Finally Frideeeee!!. 

It's a fact that Friday is the most looked-forward-to day of the week. It's been this way since some not-thinking-straight individual created the seven day work week. It's been a staple of Jewish religious practice for millenia, and believe me that they take their Sabbath seriously...they wanted to throw Jesus off a cliff for performing miracles on Friday [and to be clear, it was the over-zealous Jewish authorities not Jews in general]. It's the day we let our hair down, and celebrate with ales and spirits not returning to work for two days.

But I don't think this is fair on Friday. It's almost too much pressure for one day too handle. Take Monday for example. Monday has no pressure on it. No one likes Monday. No one wakes up and says, "Yeah Monday!" It's more like, "uuuuugh...Monday." Tuesday just gets ignored; poor Tuesday. Wednesday is Hump Day. Now while that may not sound very complimentary, it's the first ray of hope for the week, but no real expectations. Sadly, Thursday's rep is limited to being the day before Friday. Depending on your age and relationship status, Saturday is either recover-from-Friday day or hang-with-the-family day. Sunday, again depending on your status, is either recover-from-Saturday's-recover-from-Friday day or the weekly-dose-of-religion day. But Sunday, no matter how it starts, inevitably has us singing the back-to-work blues.

Friday now has the near insurmountable task of being the day that makes it all worthwhile. It's not fair I tell you. No one day should bear that much responsibility. If something happens and you miss Friday [family/medical emergency, coma] you're pretty much screwed for two weeks.

But no fear. I have a plan. I say don't start the work day on Wednesday til 2pm. That way we have time to recover from Tuesday night frivolities. Tuesday is no longer ignored and Wednesday gets a bump for being a sleep-in day. It's a plan with great potential to take some of the load of Friday's shoulders. Give it some thought.

Now I gotta go meet some friends for Indian food and maybe a few beers.

Happy Friday everyone.

Extra! Extra! [Blogtastic! Day 3.5?]

So I published my last post with the Dilbert cartoon this morning yet it showed up under Wednesday's date. I don't understand what happened. Now it looks like I posted twice yesterday and not today so I'm making up for it with this really boring FYI to essentially cover my ass and not look like a liar. Now if this shows up as being posted on some date other that Thursday, March 12th, 2009 I'm throwing my hands up and surrendering to the inexplicable foibles of the interwebs.

So as I'm here I might as well mention something useful like the Modest Mouse concert I went to last night at a charming establishment called Disco Rodeo. Mouse was a-freakin'-mazing and well worth staying up til 2am. As for Disco Rodeo? I probably won't be going back any time soon. I was struggling to find the words to articulate my experience when I found the following review from City Search:

Ok...something wierd happened and I had to delete the review because it screwed up the page when I copied it now the page with the review isn't loading. So this is probably the worst post I've written but I'm not starting over because I'm tired and grumpy and just want to go to bed. So maybe it'll all make sense again tomorrow.

GoodNIGHT!

Admitting I'm Powerless [Blogplosion '09!! Day 3]

So how do I really feel about my BlackBerry?

I got this off my favorite site for all things BlackBerry: CrackBerry.com. The site name says it all.

Sometimes I forget these modern conveniences are just that...conveniences. The other night I was out with friends and when I reached for my trusty sidekick it wasn't there. After the momentary panic before remembering I left it plugged in at home, I embarked on a pitiful journey through the Five Stages of Grief:

     1. Denial: "I can't believe this is happening!"

     2. Anger: "Don't ask me if I got your email! You know damn well I don't have my phone! It's not funny!!!"

     3. Bargaining: "Just let me hold your BlackBerry for a few minutes...I just need to touch it! I'll give it back! I promise!!"

     4. Depression: "Just leave me alone. Can't you see this is worse night of my life. What's the point of being here?"

     5. Acceptance: "Ok...just one more hour. I can make it. Why's the room spinning?"

The Mundane Adventures of Chicken Legs [Blogmania Day 2]

Going with Blogmania now. I think just a little less cheesy than Blogathon...but admittedly not by much.

So this is a plug to visit the actual RANTS TO REVELATIONS page if you're using a reader or subscribing by email. You're missing out on one of my new gems that has taken on a life of its own. Last month I mentioned my fondness for spinning and my distaste for [and I quote] "my bony skinny scrawny chicken legs." [am I being redundant by using quotation marks and saying "and I quote"?...did I just do it again...do you even care?].

Jesus said to love your enemies and do good to those who despise you. These chicken legs aren't friends of mine and they ain't been exactly showing me any love either, so I'm giving them some love by featuring them on my 12seconds channel. There's a player in my blog sidebar so check it out for updates on Chicken Legs.

I know...it doesn't even make sense, but here's the thing: spring is coming fast. It's 80+ degrees here in Raleigh today and everyone's gonna be sporting the plaid shorts [unless they've mercifully gone out of style and back the golf courses where they belong...I own 3 pair incidentally]. I figure the only way I'm jumping on that bandwagon is if I'm not self-conscious about the cluckers. And the only way that's gonna happen is if I can love and laugh about them. This works for any hideous body part you detest...or job or situation or person. Don't wait for it to change, but change your view on it first. It's ridiculous but it works.

Next video series: Beer Belly Exploits.

Why Cheating Never Works [Blogathon Day 1]

I've given this week of daily blogging the highly creative moniker of Blogathon. Hey, it's enough I plan to do this...let's not quibble over titles. And it just occurred to me that if I count yesterday's post, today is actually Day 2. But yesterday was announcing the event so it probably shouldn't count but it was an actual post and no I'm not trying to cheat my way out of an extra day of posting...that's not what today's cheating post is about. Crap! Ok, I won't count it...unless I don't post on day seven [or eight] then it'll count as a make-up. 

Again...I digress...FOCUS MAN!!!

So I recently found myself cheating. Like many episodes of infidelity it wasn't planned...it just happened. It really did. There was no warning, no foreshadowing, no hints of any kind. And when confronted, most have the tendency to fight or flee. I take the rarely discussed third option: I freeze. Then I'm hopelessly stuck in a situation I didn't want to be in. So I'm using this forum for catharsis because it's been troubling me ever since it happened and I need to confess.

I cheated...[deep breath]...on my Barber! Those of you who've struggled to find a good barber [or hairdresser or mechanic or massage parlor...umm...maybe not massage parlor] understand that this a sacred bond that should never be taken for granted. But I did, and now it's over. 

My barbershop is a five minute walk from my house in not the greatest part neighborhood. They were broken into twice before the owner consolidated with the beautyshop two doors down. I went in a couple weeks ago for my usual trim only to discover that Jimmy* wasn't there. One of the ladies, Shanice*, called him on his cell and wasn't going to be back for an hour. She then said all innocent-like, "If you just want a regular cut I can do it." My mind raced: I knew I should've said "Nah I'll come back later" but I didn't want her to think that I didn't want her to cut my hair because she was a woman but I also knew that if I said yes and it wasn't good I'd have to come up with some excuse if Jimmy wasn't there next time...and I froze...and next thing I know I'm in the chair and she's putting on the apron thingy and boy did she have a heavy hand [my scalp was sore for two days] and when she was done...it just wasn't the same. 

I walked out of the shop feeling thoroughly ashamed. I could barely stand to look at myself in the mirror. A week and a half later I returned to find out Jimmy was gone. Now I go to a shop where I pick styles from a number chart. I didn't know how good I had it.

*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PREVENT THE EMBARRASSMENT OF THE INNOCENT AND ANY SIMILARITES TO ANY REAL OR IMAGINED EVENTS OR PERSONS IS JUST A PRODUCT OF AN OVER-ACTIVE IMAGINATION.

Getting my Mojo Workin'

Holy time-warp batman!! Is it just me or did last week go be reeeealy fast? Can you believe two months have gone by already?! It feels like I just posted the other day and it was a whole week ago. And I'm still not used to Daylight Savings yet...it's only been 14 years!! Growing up in Barbados, we didn't have a need to save daylight. It was so hot half the time the sun couldn't go down fast enough.

But I digress.

I've never been one to put deadlines on myself, but I feel I should be blogging more than once a week. If nothing else, it's good writing practice, and publishing a novel is still somewhere on my to do list. I blame twitter. While I'm hopelessly addicted to the thing, it's not a substitute. I read a blog whose author has penned a post every freakin' day for the last seven months. He admits that sometimes the content, if printed, is barely worthy to line a bird cage, but at least he does it. My friend Rachel over at My Crazy Life is trying to write sixteen hundred words a day for National Novel Writing Month culminating in a fifty thousand word novel by the end of March...yes, this March.

While adventurous, I'm not crazy enough to set myself that kind of goal. I prefer smaller, yet relatively challenging, excursions. The music therapist in me applauds: small goals=big success. So my new intention is to blog every day this week. That's right, a deluge of home-spun blogging goodness is coming your way. So take a deep breath [me, not you] and enjoy this week of insanity. 

Called To Be

This past weekend I took part in a 20-hr training by The Twilight Brigade. This organization trains individuals to be with the dying. It was an intense training and because of a confidentiality agreement that's all I can say about the process. As a minister-in-training, and a human with friends and family, I know I'm now better prepared to hold someone's hand as they take their final breath. I'm also more in touch with my own mortality and how I view death with respect to my ongoing internal theological struggles. But that's a later post...still processing.

I did have an amazing interaction with one individual and he gave me permission to refer to our time together. I used this story in the talk I gave for my Homiletics class yesterday. I had to record the talk and I'm sharing it here. The song I use is "Called To Be" by Faith Rivera, one of my favorite new thought singer/song-writers and all-round great person. 

Called To Be from Nugo on Vimeo.