No novel writing today
Even more importantly I have my story now
Tomorrow is a new year
Tomorrow I begin a new story
Tomorrow I write!
--
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ouch
the pain
kendo pain
shoulders
claves
left hip and thigh
no pain no gain
i gained pain

i take comfort in the knowledge that i don't need to know what will happen in the novel
it is challenging to maintain a character's mood when mine has changed
not that my character will be be depressed the entire story
but it's not time for him to be happy yet
that redemption comes later
i think

my resolution for the new year is to cultivate and sustain friendships
jen is my best friend
i have no close friends
maybe a couple good friends
a few more on the aquaintance/friend border
i have been hurt by friends before
i have hurt friends before
i have forgiven but still fear the pain of rejection

no pain no gain

it's three oh four pm and two remarkable things have happened so far

i took the first step of long held dream
my first kendo class
my first kendo experience
i anticipated being a witness to this form of focus meets strength meets grace meets speed
i was invited to participate
they were patient and giving and genuinely pleased i was there
they know what lies ahead
i will grow strong both in and out
i will bruise
i will be sore... probably before the end of the day
my body is not ready for this new discipline
both mind and body need new discipline and i welcome it
new friends laughing
we experience character development
our final excercise is barefoot in the snow
an added bonus for being present today in the outdoor dojo

i go to scooter's to write
a group gathers and builds close to me space
an amateur investment group?
been there done that
an elderly gentleman arrives and assumes i am one of them and introduces himself
i shake his hand and tell him my name
the others correct him
i tell him it still a pleasure to meet him
we laugh and he knocks over someone's coffee

a good day to laugh so far.

Email post

Blogging on the go
Always connected
Friend or foe
Solitude ny friend no longer
I will seek you out and beg forgiveness
Please welcome me
--
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another two years have rolled by
the daunting task of writing everyday is upon me again
i started the novel
don't know where it's going yet but pen has been put to paper
this doesn't count as work on the novel
i'm sharpening the saw

yesterday i saw INTO THE WILD
it opened my heart just a little bit wider
it confirmed what i already knew
life is nothing without people to share it with
happiness is real only when shared was his deathbed realization
somedays i still want to run off alone
somedays my life is a perfectly tailored suit
somedays i don't know whose clothes i'm wearing
somedays it's my old tattered college sweatshirt on which every stain has a name
somedays it's a two sizes too small button-down
today i'm standing naked wondering what to wear

benazir bhutto was killed yesterday
so was someone only few people knew
the senselessness of it depresses me
yet this is life and there is no death

To Golf of Not to Golf.... is there even a question?!

Last Thursday Jen & I took our first golf lesson.
We had a blast! Golf is truly a sport for the insane!
I see how it takes mad skills to get that little lump of plastic onto the green.

And of course our marriage skills were excercised just as much.
Turns out she's a much better chipper than i am (so far) and was all about giving me tips.
Hey, we're paying a professional (well... an instructor through the Parks & Rec Dept., but affordable!) not you so... so.... BACK OFF!! I'll figure it out only own!

then we did some putting on our own (sans instruction) and i KICKED ASS!!!
Love me some putting!!!

HOLY CRAP!!!
Has it been two years?!?
Felt like i just posted last week!
SHIT!!!!
so what have i done? only moved half-way across the country (DC 2 KC), started a new job, became the main (and technically ONLY) breadwinner, confronted my SHADOW SIDE!!... and those were the good days!

so without rehashing everything ('specially since i can barely remember the higlights!) i'll pick up where i left off.

the wife and i have our first golf lesson later today and i am PSYCHED!!! Golf has been on my TO-DO-BEFORE-I-DIE list, so i'm glad to be getting underway. all the people i know who ply have been absolutely pessimistic about the whole thing. the most positive comment i've heard is "good for you...be careful...it's addictive!"

hey, i ain't trying to be the next Tiger Woods, i just want to HIT SOMETHING!!

PUBLIC RESTROOMS

i dislike men's publice restrooms with a passion.... and i'm a man!
sometimes i go in and wonder, "how could this possibly have happened?!"
there's no way some of the horrors i have witnessed are 'accidents'!

who 'accidently' misses the bowl and leaves a log of feces on the floor?! next to the bowl?!?
how can someone 'accidently' urinate on the wall behind the bowl and leave the bowl untouched?

sure, you might spill a few drops on the edge of the seat.... WIPE THEM UP!! i don't need to go into a stall and see pale yellow stains on the rim of where i've been, but no longer, contemplating setting my ass!

and let's not talk about urinals! if it didn't go down with the flush, get some t.p. and clean it...it's yours dammit! you pubic hair depositors know who i'm talking about!

i have a two-year-old daughter, and when she has to go, i'd rather take her out to a tree! i bsolutely refuse to take her when my wife's around. i assume ladies' rooms are cleaner, but i hear not always!

now that is a real mystery!

LOVE AND RAIN

The rain falls in a steady stream for two weeks.
It's inconceivable to think how many drops of life that may be.
Perhaps there is no name for that number.
Yet each drop is a source of life.
It begins a journey that cannot fail... all it must do is fall.
Fall, and let go...
No control, manuvered by wind, destination unknown.
Correction... destined to fuse to the molecular blueprint of all that lives.

We have a love-hate relationship with rain...
Love it when there's just enough...
Hate it when there's too much or too little... flood or drought
That's a narrow window of opportunity for love

How narrow is our window of opportunity for love?
How easily do we allow ourselves to fall?
How often do we risk that journey that may end in total fusion with another?
How much do we try to alter the descent?

I say throw open your window wide!
Be a torrential downpour that threatens to flood with emotion.
Fall fast.. fall reckless!
Be the source... Fuse!

Leave your umbrellas at home!