balance

the discipline of daily writing

is a difficult practice to master

four days have passed in the blink of an eye

i have done little work on the novel

and no entries here

 

i have been living life

i have been honoring my resolution

to cultivate and sustain friendships

 

i have been spending time with new friends

sharing a laugh over salads and sandwiches

getting to know each other

 

i have connected with old friends

i group of men that helped me find my way

when i was lost in my own disillusionment

 

the biggest obstacle in my way of writing

is that i would rather read a good book

 

and isn't all life about balance?

do i believe there is time for it all?

 

monday i return to a job that

i am doing my best to leave

soon i will leave

soon

 

shall we dance?

marriage is a dance
of infinite complexity
full of grace and allure
a sumptuous feast of sensuality
to be coveted by those who watch on the sidelines

yet unseen within the dance
am i leading
are you leading
watch the toes
what shall we dance today
is this a new dance
are we doing this dance again
let's keep dancing
my feet hurt
my back hurts

let the music play

pure joy

today i witnessed pure joy
today i saw an adult meet her inner child
and they briefly enjoyed their time together
i watched with amusement as a plump must-be-near-60-year-old woman discover that
gravity can be her her friend on the water slide
she emerged from her first trip down with a look of sheer delight
and squealed (yes, squealed) to the also amused teen-aged lifeguard
"that was fun! i'm doing it again!"
and she almost ran to do it again
she emerged from her second trip down with only a look of content
her inner child and her inner adult parted ways
the child was visible no more

but i know she will be back

No novel writing today
Even more importantly I have my story now
Tomorrow is a new year
Tomorrow I begin a new story
Tomorrow I write!
--
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ouch
the pain
kendo pain
shoulders
claves
left hip and thigh
no pain no gain
i gained pain

i take comfort in the knowledge that i don't need to know what will happen in the novel
it is challenging to maintain a character's mood when mine has changed
not that my character will be be depressed the entire story
but it's not time for him to be happy yet
that redemption comes later
i think

my resolution for the new year is to cultivate and sustain friendships
jen is my best friend
i have no close friends
maybe a couple good friends
a few more on the aquaintance/friend border
i have been hurt by friends before
i have hurt friends before
i have forgiven but still fear the pain of rejection

no pain no gain

it's three oh four pm and two remarkable things have happened so far

i took the first step of long held dream
my first kendo class
my first kendo experience
i anticipated being a witness to this form of focus meets strength meets grace meets speed
i was invited to participate
they were patient and giving and genuinely pleased i was there
they know what lies ahead
i will grow strong both in and out
i will bruise
i will be sore... probably before the end of the day
my body is not ready for this new discipline
both mind and body need new discipline and i welcome it
new friends laughing
we experience character development
our final excercise is barefoot in the snow
an added bonus for being present today in the outdoor dojo

i go to scooter's to write
a group gathers and builds close to me space
an amateur investment group?
been there done that
an elderly gentleman arrives and assumes i am one of them and introduces himself
i shake his hand and tell him my name
the others correct him
i tell him it still a pleasure to meet him
we laugh and he knocks over someone's coffee

a good day to laugh so far.

Email post

Blogging on the go
Always connected
Friend or foe
Solitude ny friend no longer
I will seek you out and beg forgiveness
Please welcome me
--
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Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

another two years have rolled by
the daunting task of writing everyday is upon me again
i started the novel
don't know where it's going yet but pen has been put to paper
this doesn't count as work on the novel
i'm sharpening the saw

yesterday i saw INTO THE WILD
it opened my heart just a little bit wider
it confirmed what i already knew
life is nothing without people to share it with
happiness is real only when shared was his deathbed realization
somedays i still want to run off alone
somedays my life is a perfectly tailored suit
somedays i don't know whose clothes i'm wearing
somedays it's my old tattered college sweatshirt on which every stain has a name
somedays it's a two sizes too small button-down
today i'm standing naked wondering what to wear

benazir bhutto was killed yesterday
so was someone only few people knew
the senselessness of it depresses me
yet this is life and there is no death

To Golf of Not to Golf.... is there even a question?!

Last Thursday Jen & I took our first golf lesson.
We had a blast! Golf is truly a sport for the insane!
I see how it takes mad skills to get that little lump of plastic onto the green.

And of course our marriage skills were excercised just as much.
Turns out she's a much better chipper than i am (so far) and was all about giving me tips.
Hey, we're paying a professional (well... an instructor through the Parks & Rec Dept., but affordable!) not you so... so.... BACK OFF!! I'll figure it out only own!

then we did some putting on our own (sans instruction) and i KICKED ASS!!!
Love me some putting!!!

HOLY CRAP!!!
Has it been two years?!?
Felt like i just posted last week!
SHIT!!!!
so what have i done? only moved half-way across the country (DC 2 KC), started a new job, became the main (and technically ONLY) breadwinner, confronted my SHADOW SIDE!!... and those were the good days!

so without rehashing everything ('specially since i can barely remember the higlights!) i'll pick up where i left off.

the wife and i have our first golf lesson later today and i am PSYCHED!!! Golf has been on my TO-DO-BEFORE-I-DIE list, so i'm glad to be getting underway. all the people i know who ply have been absolutely pessimistic about the whole thing. the most positive comment i've heard is "good for you...be careful...it's addictive!"

hey, i ain't trying to be the next Tiger Woods, i just want to HIT SOMETHING!!